Dust It Off Bloghop: Day 2 & Day 3 (because exam revision is a killer!)

I know, I'm awful, but I've been revising sociology, feminist/marxist/funtionalist/new right perspectives on The Family/Education/Religion (yes, 2 years in one, people - I must be mad!). So, first of all, here's my excerpt of FREEING FERGUS REILLY: (to put it in context, Fergus has been found in a compromising position with his lady-love's evil best friend Mia, but it was all a set-up)

'Oi - POTATO!’
Fergus grimaced – he doubted anyone would be shouting at an actual potato, so he assumed that this was some idiot’s idea of an anti-Irish joke.

He turned around. ‘Very good – because I’ve never heard that one before.’

Liam Parker ignored him, and started to approach. There was murder in his eyes. Mia must have told him what had happened – but not before putting her own spin on things, the bitch.

‘Come over here and face me like a man, leprechaun,’ Liam carried on angrily, although he was obviously struggling to think of more insults.

Fergus walked calmly up to him, and was pleased to find that, far from being a ‘leprechaun’ he was slightly taller than Liam. Liam looked a little unnerved, and for a moment seemed like he was going to lose his cool. He stayed silent, but something was brewing, his face slowly going red. Whether it was with anger or embarrassment, it was hard to tell.

Daisy, Faith and Mia were shooting him evil looks, and turned to glance at Liam’s friends, who were looking slightly awkward but at the same time, aggressive. Alex, ever the conscientious objector, was biting his lip and seemed rather worried.

Fergus turned back to Liam again.
‘Sorry, where were we?’ He raised an eyebrow, and tried to ignore the feeling of unease that was making his stomach churn.

Smack! Liam’s fist connected with his jaw. White-hot pain shot up his face, nearly as bad as when his dad hit him. He stumbled backwards, and Liam looked smug.
‘Leave Mia alone, freak, and go back to Daisy – I know you Irish like gingers.’

In a second Fergus had jumped on an unsuspecting Liam. The pair fell to the floor, raining down punches, kicks, and (in Liam’s case) pulling hair. A small crowd of younger boys had gathered and were chanting ‘fight, fight, fight!’ with obvious enjoyment, and Alex, Daisy and Faith were looking on anxiously, anger forgotten. Daisy in particular was in turmoil – she knew what Fergus had done to Mia, but she wasn’t sure she wanted him to get hurt too badly.

Liam was going in for the kill.

And what have I learnt from writing FREEING FERGUS REILLY?

Well, I was just about finished with FFR when I found the amazing writers' forum http://www.absolutewritewatercooler.com/ , and I learn so much from there that I realised what a trainwreck FFR actually was (hey, I was 16...). But emerald eyes, Mary-Sues, stereotypes and teachers who were more promiscuous than the Desperate Housewives aside, the most important thing I learnt was that edgy/gritty/dark contemporary YA was what I wanted to write the most. FFR wasn't exactly gritty, I'd call it a slightly edgy romance, but I realised I loved writing angst, so write angst I did. Oh, and I learn a heck of a lot about dialogue, grammar, and formatting, too.

Finally, thanks to Theresa and Cortney for this fab blogfest!

Dust It Off Bloghop - My Pitch!

First of all, thanks to Theresa Paolo and Cortney Pearson for hosting this bloghop (that I only discovered today, but better late than never!).

So I'm gonna cheat and use Theresa's words to sum up what the blogfest is about:

The Dust It Off Bloghop will be three days, May 3rd, 5th and 7th. We've all had those manuscripts that we poured our heart into, fell in love with the characters and still think of them at random, but unfortunately had to shelf. Now it's time for a little spring cleaning. Take out those manuscripts and Dust It Off!

The first day, May 3rd: We want you to post a 1-2 sentence pitch (Great way to practice pitches) about the shelved WIP.

The second day, May 5th: Post your favorite excerpt (300-350 words)

The third day, May 7th: Post what you learned from this WIP. You become a stronger, more rounded writer which each manuscript and we want to know what this particular work taught you.

You can participate in all three and we hope you do, but you don't have to. We know you have lives away from the computer. If you can great. If not we'd be happy with anything you can give us :)

Day 1 prize: A book. Who doesn't like a free book? Cortney's Book: Ditched by Robin Mellom (So jealous!!) My book: Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Andersen

Day 2 prize:A query critique

Day 3 prize:A FULL MANUSCRIPT CRITIQUE!!! (And of course it is the manuscript of your choice. It doesn't have to be for the shelved WIP. This goes for the query as well.)

And here's my query letter for FREEING FERGUS REILLY, the YA contemp that I had to shelf because I wrote it a couple of years ago when I was 16 and I still had a LOT to learn (I still do, probably!):

Sixteen year old Daisy refuses to be a Plain Jane for one more second. She spends her school days trailing around after the beautiful and fickle Mia like a lost puppy, longing to move away from the dull safety of her village, and become someone altogether more exciting than 'Mia’s Friend’. Riding horses is just the escape Daisy needs. In the fields and woods surrounding Westworth, she is finally the best, the fastest, the most talented. When a wild, thrill-seeking rides goes horribly wrong she meets Fergus, and realises that perhaps her problems aren’t all that bad.

Because Fergus is the opposite of Daisy. Far from enjoying the attention and popularity that Daisy yearns for, he shrinks from the spotlight, and hopes no one will notice the constant bruises inflicted by the one man who should protect him, and the fear and hurt that he tries to hide behind his cheerful swagger. But Daisy sees through the bravado, and together they escape their respective troubles by show jumping, a shared passion. They start to fall in love while practicing to enter the prestigious Wycombe horse show. Both know that there will be consequences for competing, some worse than others. But unless they take risks, how can they can ever truly be free?